Out of her shell at last October 11, 2023
How she wound up where she is and what she's doing will
remain one of the great unresolved mysteries of my life time although she
clearly has landed on her feet.
The last time I heard she was living on the Upper West
Side in New York City somewhere near Columbia University
But since she had not posted anything on any venue that I
had access to it is hard to fill in the gaps over several years and so she
mysteriously pops up in my mind to where she is now.
But her video blog is very enlightening for a number of
reasons.
Unlike her poetry blogs of the past, it is not a great
puzzle to be solved and her presence on that side of the camera clearly is
impressive.
It's doing something I could not do
What is really interesting to me is the background of her,
the world she lives in and how I recognize a few of the icons that remain left
from the world in which I knew her so many years ago. paintings and such filled
in with all new things that are unfamiliar and yet seem fitting.
It takes a brave soul to reveal so much about their
environment and for her it is even braver act since she has always been such a
private person
I have not seen all of her videos completely, just bits
and pieces of some although several have gone through all the way through and find
them surprisingly entertaining even though in some cases I have no real
interest in the subject matter.
Asbury Park, of course. is different since it is a world
that I have frequently wandered and frequently taken pictures in and so seeing
what she sees through the lens of her camera is an interesting alternative
experience.
It is also something positive in her relationship with the
people she traveled there with as if old wounds as she once posted in a poem
many many years ago have finally healed.
She apparently started doing this video blog about a year
ago maybe a little more and it picks up on a number of themes of her life
especially food and horses
Her pets, however, are completely foreign to me since the
dog is relatively new and so are the cats. The old cats have gone their way I
suppose in the world the way many of mine have.
Several observations can be made from her videos
especially since she is being so open about it
If she is involved with somebody it is not a living relationship
and while she may have a roommate, it is not clear from the videos who it is,
but it is clear that it is not somebody who she is romantically involved in
He's also referred to herself as a middle-aged woman which
suggests that she has come to some resolution about her own identity other than
the hermit crabs things that she often used to protect yourself in the past
If anything, she has climbed out of her shells and for the
first time revealed who she really is although with art of any kind even this
obvious it is foolish to make assumptions about the person from the work
because they aren't often not the same thing.
Over the last few years. I have come to miss her poetry
although I still have her music to fall back on, but both are hopelessly out of
date
The videos are different; they are contemporary, and they
are revealing. and it is amazing to watch her in her world as it is now rather
than a world of poems and music that no longer represents who she currently is.
I sincerely hope she continues these things although who
knows she might get discouraged and that would be a shame
I do videos too but like her hermit crab shells my true
identity is rarely exposed. I operate on a world of music and fiction where I
can feel a bit protected by the shell I currently existed in the way she used
to with her shells
Where all this goes, I can't tell.
Maybe she will eventually end up an internet influencer, a
kind of tool time hit on the internet. While I can't subscribe, I certainly can
watch and that will be interesting to see where she goes from here.
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