Pearl Harbor Day Dec. 7, 2023

  

It’s Pearl Harbor Day, something that means more to the previous generation than it does to mine, in the way 9/11 means to mine, while the new generation stumbles along in ignorance the way we did when Japan sank all those ships all those long years ago.

This was still a living memory when I got to cover Bayonne 20 years ago, when the last of the World War II veterans still marched in parades and still took active part in various events, people who have since passed on, such as Henry in whose house Spielberg filmed War of the Worlds, although for Henry, D-Day stood out more because of the role he played, keeping that memory alive with a shrine in his living room Spielberg paused to look at when approaching him about alien invasion movie.

The last 20 years have been hard on that generation, even though for more than a decade pervious, we heard about the thousands of WWII who passed away of old age.  Many of those I encountered were Korean War vets, part of that group of men still too young to take part in the big war and had to settle for frostbite in a much shorter war in a different part of the planet, although most of these are gone as well.

All this hits me hardest from Pearl Harbor Day because it reminds me of my family, my uncles who – with one exception – had a living memory of that horrible moment, hearing it on the radio, and still being too young to go to war themselves.

This, of course, involves the family scandal, in which my grandfather, a housebuilder, horded building materials when they were needed for the war effort, and that his own mother turned him into the authorities.

My grandfather and his brother suffered the misfortune of having started their construction business in 1928, just in time for the start of the Great Depression.

Because few had money to buy the houses they built, my family had to live in them. My uncle Ritchie was born in one in Clifton, just down the hill from the big house in which I grew up two decades later.

My grandfather, who was incredibly superstitious, kept looking for signs that his luck would change. When my uncle Frank was born on Easter in 1938, my grandfather called him his “good luck baby,” even though the depression forced him and my grandmother to move back into his mother’s house on Passaic Street in Garfield by the start of the war.

As with many families, his luck changed only with the death of his mother in 1944, when he and his siblings inherited her wealth, which allowed each to buy homes and start businesses, so by the end of the war, my grandfather had purchased the big house, an old Victorian building standing at the highest point in town, a house I grew up in, and which still stands today, mostly unchanged – although nobody from my family has lived in it since my uncle Ted sold it in 1977, before taking his family south to Toms River, where my mother and my grandmother lived until my grandmother’s death in early 1991.

My family plot is within eyesight of that house and so, I pass it several times a year, as if keeping tabs on it, fearing that a fire might bring it down the way fire did the Montclair rooming house I lived in during the 1970s, or the cold water flat complex in Passaic where I lived in the 1980s – due for demolition shortly.

This idea of measuring our lives by the yard stick of national tragedies – Pearl Habor, the JFK assassination, the resignation of Richard Nixon – seems a bit silly, and yet, how else do we measure it if we fail to leave our own markers? My grandfather was very ambitious and would have become an architect had his father not died and forced him to support his mother and siblings. The same is true from my uncle Ted, who had plans to go to college when he got back from Vietnam, only to get saddled with my grandfather’s business, which ultimately defined life, and forced him to settle for less.

We all settle for less than we hoped for. Sometimes, this is enough.

 

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